Looking At Someone Else
Wow, look at her. She is so perfect. Her face is much better than mine. My body is built weird compared to her.
These are all the things I think about when I look at someone else.
On Instagram, Tiktok, Youtube, Pinterest, and VSCO.
Sometimes I do it involuntarily. If someone does better than me on a test, I can’t help myself but think how much better they are than me or how I am falling behind.
No matter what I do, I still keep thinking that I am not enough. I have to be like that person to be better.
If I looked like them. If I was as smart as them. If I was them.
The worst part is that when I compare myself, it becomes self-pity and jealousy. It fuels my insecurities and it’s not the fault of the other person.
Comparsion When You’re A Kid
Another example of hurtful comparisons was when I saw this video of a 5-year-old girl who cried saying she wasn’t beautiful. She believed that she was ugly compared to every girl around her.
It broke my heart thinking that boys and girls as young as 5 could be comparing themselves and thinking they aren’t worth it.
It reminded me that children get compared all the time. When I was young, I was constantly compared to my cousins, siblings, and random strangers to get a point across.
My cousins were always more active and studious than I was. They did dance, tae kwon do, swim, Kumon, and extra math work. My family would always compare, but they didn’t mean any harm.
Sometimes comparing gets to a place where you think that everyone is better than you at something, and you can’t compete.
I have seen my little sister hurt and heard her say harsh things to herself when looking up to another person.
The worst part of this mindset of feeding insecurities and believing that you are not enough leads to people taking drastic measures to achieve their expectations.
I personally always compared my body to those I see on social media. To look like those girls, I would over-exercise and limit how much “unhealthy” food I was eating.
I was constantly irritated and tired. If I ate what I wanted, even if it was unhealthy, I would feel miserable and workout out till I felt faint.
What You May Not Know
What you don’t realize is that you may not know that the person that you deemed was better than you might be feeling the same way you do.
They might have insecurities that limit them and feel lesser than everyone else. No one is perfect, no matter how their life seems. Everyone has their own struggles.
Wishing to be someone means the good and the bad. It also highly possible that there are people who look up to you and want to be like you.
Impersonation and aspiration is the best form of flattery, but it shouldn’t go to the point where you are unhappy with yourself and are taking dangerous methods to change yourself.
The best part of you is that there is only ONE of you on this entire planet. Once I meet a person, I am never going to meet someone exactly like them.
That’s what makes everyone so special.
Each person has their strengths and weaknesses. Each person has talents and different things they can bring to the table.
Instead of thinking of what you don’t have, look at what you do have. Look at what you can do those others may not be able to.
Everyone has their own potential and should nurture that potential by giving the self-love and attention it needs.
You may look at yourself and think why don’t I look like this or why don’t I have that.
But what I see is, wow, look at all the things that a person has. I have never seen that before. That person is a rare gem.
One of a Kind.